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We invite you to post your comments, stories, strategies, announcements, requests, and reports on violence against women in English or Spanish.

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Te invitamos a publicar en nuestro sitio, en inglés o español, tus comentarios, historias, estrategias, anuncios, solicitudes e informes sobre violencia contra las mujeres.

También te alentamos a que te conectes con otras personas a fin de colaborar y brindarse apoyo. Pulsa aquí para escribir el mensaje. Tu mensaje no aparecerá de inmediato en el sitio, pero sí en breve. Esto nos permitirá eliminar mensajes no deseados.

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07 Sep 2007 - 21:08ana
xiomy00@latinmail.com

estoy en miami, y quiero involucrarme en la causa de la violencia domestica y la violencia psicologica, quiero q me ayuden a encontrar la forma de ayudar a muchas mujeres, q al igual q yo estan o fueron victimas de la violencia , aqui en miami es muy dificil y por mas q he tratado no se como canalizar esto, como AYUDAR



07 Sep 2007 - 21:02Diana
dianamedrano9@hotmail.com

To all:
Thank you for sharing your stories. I applaude your courage. God be with you through the healing process. You are valuable.



04 Sep 2007 - 22:25Nancy
teacup02@yahoo.com

I am a victim of aggravated domestic violence. I was married to a doctor. This made everything very difficult to prosecute and then defend myself against PAS. Victims are very afraid to ask their victims advocate or detective for help with testimony or reports. If you do not have an advocate, go to the shelter and ask for one!

It is imperative that you pull yourself together and help your attorney with evidence. Get all of the evidence together before the hearings and make four copies and keep one copy of everything with a friend. Make sure that all police and advocates or other individuals get to testify on your behalf. I did not get this chance because I was so focused on keeping my special needs son help for his disabilities and felt ashamed about my situation and actually thought my attorney would take care of this. I was so beaten down mentally; I felt I did not deserve help, after all, I am a “nothing” and he is a respected doctor.

He promised that if I called police!
I would never see my son again. He made good on this promise. Beware of fathers rights groups that teach men how to create parental alienation. Don’t fall for their tricks. My husband told me twice he would be out of town on father’s day with his daughter from another marriage. I went to my brother’s house for the weekend. Fathers day morning, my neighbor called to tell me he was at the curb honking with witnesses.

I lost sole custody to the abuser who worked to blind side me by blocking interventions for my son. That is what the fathers groups tell them to do- get her focused on losing the children and she wont care about money or assets. I lost focus on my DV case over the two years. I couldnt have cared less about money. I ended up broke. I was not allowed by the custody evaluator to present any information about DV or child abuse. If you find this is the case with your court exper, do not –do not assume he reads your mind- get him removed from the case NOW. Scream, yel!
l, and complain! My attorney was also focused on helping my son with his needs and doctor’s evaluations that the DV was not as important and seemed to her a slam dunk because of the proof we had but the judge cut the trial off and we didn’t get in the evidence. What I did not realize is that you must get custody first and then you can make all the decisions for your children after you prove your case.

Listen to how this site tells you how to gather evidence-then do it.
Never go anywhere but a women’s shelter for post traumatic stress counseling. They can represent you appropriately in court. Other psych centers do not want to help or get involved and have no idea how desperately you need help with testifying. Only the women’s shelters know how you will be treated in court and how important testifying is. Ask them if they are willing to testify for you and make sure they have enough education behind them to qualify as an expert.
If you have a bias court appointed custody evaluator- MAKE SURE YOU HAVE YOUR OWN FORENSIC EVALUATOR TO COUNTER THE TESTIMONY OF THE COURT EXPERT right now- dont wait for the incompetent report 3 days before trial- that is a trick they use! If the court expert misleads you by telling you that you have done everything with your children "perfect"- don’t trust them. I was accused of imagining threat in my environment regardless of validity by the court expert who kept apologizing for doing the judge a favor.”

I was held hostage with a knife for twelve hours after husband found I was divorcing him. My children witnessed this but the court expert refused to speak to my daughter from my previous marriage and my son was four and is LD and terrified of men.

Again, get your evidence, police, detective’s reports, and pictures, everything this site tells you to get. Do not let the police leave with out taking the knife or other weapon and taking pictures of the damage. Take the information from this site to your attorney so they can help you better. Get everyone you know to testify on your behalf or write affidavits about how good you are as a mother and a human being-and any DV they witnessed-especially if you find the court expert is not calling your collateral sources for their insight. Even if they do, don’t trust them. Tape record your custody evaluator visits if you can so that the evaluator does not lie about what you said. My expert wrote that my mother stabbed my sister when we were children. What I really said was that once my mother poked my sister with a knitting needle and that is all she had ever done wrong in her life to us kids. He took words and twisted them to make it sound horrific and that my mother was some ki!
nd of monster. Just be careful. Do not tell your custody evaluator that you were ever abused in any past relationship or if your ex tells him this, do not give details. Other wise, you risk being told that you have chronic post traumatic disorder and imagine domestic violence. Act happy, act together and don’t dont dont cry. Discipline your child lovingly but authoritatively- lead your child in games that you play in front of the evaluator. Read all the info at sites that help you know what the evaluator is looking for. Judges follow the court appointed expert 90 % of the time. Good luck and take care of your selves and pull it together for your babies.



04 Sep 2007 - 10:40Rita
rmendoza@cne.go.cr

hola soy una mujer que sufre los embates de la violencia indirectamente , ya que la que sufre de este mal es mi hija de 21 años , y yo sufro mucho por esa situacion , ella y los niños me preocupan mucho y no se que hacer al respecto ,y en mi pais yo no puedo poner la denuncia ,por que segun las leyes de mi pais solo la victima direccta lo puede hacer , creo que deberia ser como denunciar cualquier delito y posteriormente ser investigado , buscando informacion fue como supe de ustedes , Gracias ¡¡¡



04 Sep 2007 - 10:34admin
cavasmadrid@yahoo.es
URL: www.violacion.org
Queridas compañeras y amigas:

El día 13 de septiembre, a las 7 de la tarde presentamos la Guía de
Prevención de la Violencia Sexual "ERES LA DUEÑA DE TU CUERPO", dirigida a adolescentes.

Se presentará en el Círculo de Bellas Artes de Madrid, a las 7 de la
tarde, sala Valle Inclan.

Presentamos el acto las autoras y los acompañan en la mesa *Rosa
Perís,* Directora del Instituto de la Mujer y *Mª José Pérez-Cijuela*,
Directora Gral. de la Mujer de la CAM.

Finalizará el acto con un estupendo cóctel.

Os espero. Un abrazo,

Tina Alarcón

*Asociación de Asistencia a Victimas de Agresiones Sexuales*



03 Sep 2007 - 11:15admin
comision@malostratos.org
URL: http://www.malostratos.org/

JORNADAS SOBRE PROSTITUCIÓN Y TRATA DE MUJERES EN CATALUÑA".

Estimadas compañeras/os y amigas/os,

os envíamos el programa de las Jornadas que la Comisión para la Investigación de Malos tratos a Mujeres va a llevar a cabo los días 28 y 29 de septiembre en Barcelona, que llevarán por título " I JORNADAS SOBRE PROSTITUCIÓN Y TRATA DE MUJERES EN CATALUÑA".

Esperamos que podáis asistir, y si no es posible, que hagáis difusión del programa a quienes les pueda interesar.

Para inscribirse tan solo tenéis que responder a este correo, señalando estos datos:

* Nombre y apellidos:

* Número de D.N.I.:

* Entidad a la que perteneces o si eres un/a particular:

* Dirección de correo electrónico:

Muchas gracias, y esperamos que podáis participar.

Un saludo

Comisión para la Investigación de Malos Tratos a Mujeres



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